Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Persians: The Americans of cats?

"Is it a Persian?" the woman at the pet shop asked (presumably not in English), as she scanned the week's supply of kitten food.

"No, a Filipino cat," my wife replied (Ibid).


"What breed is it?" the dog owner at the vet asked, inspecting the cat carrier.

"No breed, a Filipino cat."


Despite every neighbourhood in this country (even the posh subdivisions) teeming with unwanted, unspayed felines, it seems your typical Filipino pet owner prefers foreign looks over common local muck. At least they're consistent. If the dark-skinned kids get picked last at the orphanage, why would they be any fairer to lower forms of life?

After all, you're mainly showing off that you can afford to waste money caring for an animal when most people are struggling to feed their human families, so you could at least make the effort to go down to the pet shop rather than picking one out of the garden like a tramp.

In a country where cockfighting is an acceptable national pastime, people don't have those annoying burdens like empathy and guilt that persuade those of us in the molly-coddled, politically-correct-gone-mad West to choose rubbish-looking animals from shelters rather than funding inhumane inbreeding to achieve the perfect tail (and if there are some failed experiments along the way, there's always the cat meat trade).

Sorry, I thought I was through dissing this place. But any time you embark on a new venture in life, you're bound to run into new annoyances. Anyway, I'm not the one being racist here – what's wrong with Filipino cats, Filipinos? If you associate them with the dirty, bad-tempered garbage-gobblers outside, ask yourself how those poor sods got that way.

Why a Persian specifically? That's what's bugging me. She works in a pet shop, she can't only know the one cat breed. Is it the same way all white people are assumed to be Americans until proven innocent? At least it's not quite as bad as that time a pharmacist asked if I was from New York. Get her on Family Fortunes, she'd be a riot.

Next time on pointless fury: The third line is "happy birthday, dear [insert name]." Not "happy birthday, happy birthday!" Sing it right or not at all!

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