Thursday, July 28, 2016

Substantialreads: Insubstantialreads

At least I made it to the second half of the year before falling back on comics. And at least it's another comic writer being a smart-arse, weaving a dense interdimensional web that he apparently genuinely believes was dictated to him by beings from another realm during a magickal trance, so it shouldn't be so much light reading as perplexing and off-putting. We can only hope.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Penelope: A confessional memoir

The following is a true story that I have to get off my chest.

It's up to you whether you think it's an actual experience from my life or the authentic transcript of a dream I just had, fuelled by reading some messed-up horror stories, listening to a radio discussion about dreams and an undigested bit of beef fajita.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Be my less rubbish neighbour? Only ₱3,000,000!* (US$63,458.49) [*House not included]

It's only dawned on me recently that the relaxing nature surrounding my new house (built on land that was previously part of that relaxing nature before we destroyed it) isn't going to last forever.

As soon as some schmuck buys up that 1,000-square-metre lot for the asking price of 3,000,000 pesos (USD 63,458.49 / GBP 47,720.23 / AUD 83,441.47, will consider other nationalities), I'm going to be stuck looking at whatever unregulated concrete and rusty-roofed monstrosity they decide to build on it (and presumably listening to their annoying kids and karaoke and breathing in their burning trash fumes) for as many years as my patience with this place lasts out.

If you would make a less rubbish neighbour than that (obviously things are flawless over on this side) and you're looking for land for sale in Davao City, please leave a comment.

(Maybe I should be putting those seven years of SEO sales writing experience to practical use now that it might finally be useful? No, that's too much like work. A sarcastic Blogger post should do it. Come on, I took out the references to owning a little piece of Hell, it's not like I have no restraint).

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Why do your British charity shop donations end up on sale for profit in the Philippines?

I'll clarify at the onset that I don't know the answer to that question... I was actually kind of hoping you might?

I was always a fan of the charity shop institution in my native land. I can't think of a better example of a win-win situation than getting to feel good about throwing your old clothes into a charity-branded skip rather than a regular bin before heading to the shop in person to sift through dog-eared paperbacks and buy 12" LPs you lack the equipment to play but imagine would look great on your dorm walls.

I haven't seen those shops here in the Philippines, maybe because people aren't stupid and have seen what happens when other countries have made generous donations to help them in their times of need. It wouldn't fill me with confidence in the chain of affluence either.

That doesn't mean I miss out entirely though, as I can still get my fix of three-years-out-of-date celebrity Christmas market biographies by heading to my local for-profit used book shops. Some of them still include the Help the Aged etc. stamps and pamphlets inside for added authenticity!

I can only hope that some kind of favourable donation took place on these books' journeys from a modest not-for-profit shop run by volunteers to a branded mall bookshop whose profits are most certainly not going to a deserving cause.